Slutty Showcase

As a writer, you can either go two ways on a piece. I have good pictures, and I have bad pictures. I can spin this event so elaborately that a reader might feel envious of my attendance. Or, I can spin this event so poorly that nobody will attend ever again. You can suck up to the person in PR who gave you a press pass and write a stellar review, or you can just tell the truth. I was told by one of my journalism professors at Azusa Pacific University that one should always write something nice because otherwise, you'll be blacklisted as a writer and nobody will want you to attend their event. However, the editor-in-chief at the first newspaper I wrote for told me to always report the truth no matter what -- people want to hear the news, not some fluffy bullshit. It's taken me a few days to meditate on this, and I've come to the conclusion that we need to start telling the truth about fashion. I'm tired of people telling me what's fabulous when it's far from it! I don't know how many fashion blogs I read that fall to the pedestal of couture designers because of their name, and not their work.

The Top Model Showcase in Renton was the epitome of everything I hate about Seattle's fashion scene. Just a block away from the scariest Walmart in Washington, I stumbled into the Renton Ikea Community Center unaware as to whether I was at an audition for Foxes. I was praying
I didn't have to tip! My photographer and I spent all of our $1 bills at Burger King before we arrived!

When something looks borderline slutty, I've often heard people call it "streetwear." But no matter how much design went into it, I will never come to appreciate a boutique owner who prides herself in dressing young women like hookers. Synthetic blends don't look good on anyone. Not to mention the horrific prints. The most random sponsor was Tall Girl. This is one of those stores hiding down the furthest wing in the mall. They're conservative, a little middle America, but I'm sure their clothes are great for people who need a longer hemline. Despite the fact that none of the models were above 4'9, a model is supposed to market their product in a positive and uplifting way. They're supposed to make every girl watching them want what they're wearing. The problem with the models at this event was that I couldn't tell if they were selling sex or clothes. I'm sure the owners of Tall Girl didn't have nudity in mind for this cardigan...

If you can make Tall Girl look slutty, you have talent. But not in a good way! I thought I saw one decent candidate throughout the whole showcase. She had a beautiful fresh face...

But then she dropped to the floor like a stripper and gave me the Myspace face...

Myspace and Model Mayhem has distorted the idea of being a model. I don't care how many creepy old men think you're hot... Lingerie + Myspace angles = Playboy Model. A top designer will never use you. I'm sorry, but I'm just being honest.

One candidate didn't even know what a designer was! I felt so bad for Mercedes. She had to sit through the worst possible modeling audition in the history of mankind. This is definitely a fake clap...

Favorite quotes from the evening...

Panel: Who's your favorite designer?
Model: Lucky jeans. I like the design on the butt pocket.
Darrah's Thoughts: That's a brand, not a designer.

Panel: This industry is very competitive, and designers always have a specific look in mind. How do you handle criticism?
Model: I would just look past it because I know they're just jealous.
Darrah's Thoughts: Nobody's jealous hunny.

Panel: What's unique about you?
Model: Uhmm... I am a loving person, and I don't like mean people.
Darrah's Thoughts: I don't think anyone likes mean people!? That's not unique.

Panel: What's your favorite fashion magazine?
Model: I don't read magazines. I just like high fashion.
Darrah's Thoughts: Let's just be honest... you don't read. Period.

Panel: What makes you stand out?
Model: I'm Asian.
Darrah's Thoughts: Hmm...

Panel: What can you bring to the world of fashion?
Model: I like to draw and imagine out of the world designs.
Darrah's Thoughts: This is a modeling competition... not Project Runway.

Panel: Who is your favorite model?
Model: This is my first showcase. I'm not the typical model.
Darrah's Thoughts: Sadly, this will probably be your last showcase.


trigg and trig. said...

oh my god.
these quotes are amazing, hilarious

Modelmental said...

Thank goodness you decided to tell the truth cause this is just awful! And while the girls certainly put themselves out there for this (by playing along with the stripper poses etc) I still blame the organisers for lowering the caliber of the event to such a depraved state.
Is that Mercedes of ANTM? She was one of my faves ever!

lydia said...

I have been waiting for this post. As the photographer at this event, I was trying SO hard to get nice shots, then I realized that there was not going to be any "nice" shots so I went with the slutty ones. I felt a little conflicted inside, I told myself I was never going to exploit another woman because it hurts us all. Sigh... at the end of the night I felt a little dirty. If I wanted to get a nice shot, I was never going to snap a single frame.
I am glad you told the truth. There should be a little shame involved in with show, shame on whoever it was that allowed this to be a sex contest rather than a modeling contest.

Midtown Girl said...

Ok, this was hilarious. Excellent post! xoxo

Nia Imani said...

OMGoodness. i wish I was there! i love this! lol.

Leigh said...

Yes no kidding I am so glad you told the truth, wow. This was a great post which made me laugh.


Dustjacket attic said...

Oh great post, I'm with you on this.

Just love your fav quotes from the evening and your thoughts, just hilarious.

Thanks for coming by and taking time to comment, much appreciated, drop by again.

I'll be back, great site.

Anonymous said...

who on earth thinks that was appealing or sexy...it did not make me want any of the "baithing suits??" Your inner monologue was hysterical!! I always feel like a big dork when I see "high fashion" looks sometimes because i think...that is hideous!

Tarah said...

Great post and ohhh so funny. I really loved that you recreated the panel and model conversation and then added in your own commentary - HI-LAR-I-OUS!

brooke said...

wow... I feel sorry for you having to sit through this!! It looks awful... eek. Hope you can block it out of your mind! haha.

brooke xx

agentnoir said...

yayy! i am SO happy that you told the truth about this event! I didn't make it out but I reported that the event was happening on my site.

There is so much missing from Seattle fashion, its painful. Similar to your post, I think one of the main things is class & elegance. I don't really know how or where, but it gets lost on our poor little city's fashion scene! I know there's lots of talk about buzzing among the local fashion community to start improving it so let's hope that's true!

great post!!

ps- I died when I read your comment about Renton Wal-Mart. SERIOUSLY- I go to great distances to avoid that place- making sure I'm never within a 5-mile radius. its like black friday chaos, every single day!

lopi said...

Haha, hilarious post! It's like those cheesy beauty pageants here in Greece, where they call one C-list celebrity to present and generally it's all about creepy old men looking at stupid young girls in bikinis, who think that's a sure way to fame and money. Quite sad, actually.

The Clothes Horse said...

Oh my goodness! Their responses are HILARIOUS! I can't believe some people really are that...well, since I don't like mean people either I won't say it. :)

miky said...

hot stuff