Ode to Clothing...

Sweaters and UGGs know a cuddle that men will never know how to do just right...

The way crew-neck tees hug my every curve and trace the outline of my upper torso... is romance unknown.

The way lace can make me feel so girly, flirtatious, and fun transcends the boundaries of some mediocre material relationship.

A man will never make me feel as dangerous and daring as leather riding boots do.

As my clothing waits for me to come home... it's up for anything. Homework, watching a movie, or going out. Flexibility isn't just in elastic waistbands... for my clothing bends with me in ways boys have yet to learn...

Though clothing has continuously stolen money from me and randomly thrown itself on other women in the mall... I can't help but forgive and forget when my size 28's want me back again.

And though the possibility to fit in a smaller jean may have been caused by a man... he will never make me feel as good as I do when that denim slides past my thigh with no hesitation at all.

I don't have to "change" clothing... it just automatically comes in my size. If only couples therapy were like going to alterations... "Just one more inch, please!"

Fighting with my clothing always ends up making me depressed... but rebounding is so much easier! It's called Neiman Marcus.

However, like men, rebounding can be difficult. Try to avoid Forever-21 types... because as you know... they're only looking for a one-night-stand. Leaving you in snags and hanging threads the next day.

Always there lending extra fabric to wipe my tears... tunics make me feel comfortable no matter what. My hats protect me from skin-cancer, and my accessories make me feel pretty when I feel ugly on the inside.

Clothes bring out the best of me. The happier, more positive, confident me.

And if there is a day where I must be without them... tears will roll down my cheeks because I will never give up on clothing. We have been dating for 21 years now... and though sometimes a nylon or two will fail me... I'd rather have my heart broken by a thread than have it crushed with a boy's tonka truck.